Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in worst_troopever's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
10:48 pm	Merry Christmas Today I decided to switch my LJ account but I don't know to what yet, but I'll keep everyone updated to what it will be changed to. Merry  Christmas Everyone. Please Don't Drink and Drive!   (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
12:23 am	Election In 2006 I hope everyone knows that they will be an election on Jan. 23 2006. I hope this year people will be informed for who they are voting for. Like me. I kinda want to vote for Bruce Hyer but know, I think he is a snobby man. But John Raffedy seems nice and I would love to vote for them, stupid south side. Oh ya they are all NDP members. I will not vote Conservative that is for sure. Blah I hate what they did for our Health Care. I am kinda a proud member of the NDP, but not. I am more proud of their ideals and morales but I don't think they can do much. I love T.C. Douglas, and what he did for Canada. I love Health Care but I think when our stupid province took our dental and eyes. Our system was and still is completely broken. I would really hate to be an American. WOW it costs $50,000 to have a baby there. Not that I want kids now. But still wow. Well I hope anyway who reads this votes NDP Because there is no chance in a city like Thunder Bay a conservative candidate will be elected in each riding. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
4:06 pm	Why Does University Have To Be Soo Diffcult- Especially 4th Year Classes School sucks, I am failing one of my fourth year courses, called Political Science 4335: Stragety I Who the fuck cares about stragety. I don't think about it, nor I care. I worked on the fucking project for more then 20 hours and I got a 19/40. It was soo fucking stupid. But yet to the teacher is on crack. She will give one student a 36/40, then someone else a 8/40 for the same work. She doesn't even explain what she wants in her presentations. Blah I hate school So that is my rant Well Other things I went to a party last night. It was good, for only about an hour ansd half cuz it was getting boring? Well and it was different. Like there were nice people there that I haven't seen since I was like in grade 5. Who knew they still lived in Thunder Bay. I decided to be social which I am usually not.   (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
11:38 pm	I lost feeling in everything. Something so small turned me into mush. I just wanted to feel emotionless and it killed me. It did. I feel like I want to cry, but I can't. I did something so wrong, I can't do it again. I just can't. It's so diffcult to deal with and no one understands, not that I want them to. I hate it when people feel sorry for me. I just want to get revenge! Now I just want to disappear. One day I just woke up and I realized that I didn't have a reason to live. I guess I need to find one. I thought I had one, but then it disappeared. I just want no one to realize how bad things are, just to ignore them. I just have apathy towards life. Couldn't care less.   (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
10:54 pm	I Need To Look Closer I need to try to build up a wall around my heart again. I hate when people start tearing it down. I hate being so exposed. People can be so kind if I get to know them. But I need to find a way to trust them as well. I hate it so much.  People are good and evil at the same time. It just hurts so.   (1 Comment |Comment on this)
10:39 pm	Life is a Rollercoaster: With Ups and Downs I was thinking about life. It's totally like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs. I feel like it takes a lot to get me up, and when I am, it lasts maybe for a really short period of time. Then I go completely down. I am totaly insane. Too many mood swings, but not really. I feel that I lost all feeling about things. Like people die and I stopped caring. I just became numb. Even to people. New people I meet, sometimes it just feels so right, then it can go so wrong. It can be totally awesome at sometime then totally bad 20 minutes later. I just can't talk to anyone anymore. I feel like I want to scream but I can't. I want people to know what the hell is wrong with me but I can't. Like the most important things in life have turned to be nothing. I think people hype things to be bigger and better than they actually are. Like I am starting to hate things, and love them at the same time, which would cancel them out. I miss everything and nothing at the same time. I am soo apathic now. No feeling, no love, no hate, no opinion, no thoughts, no nothing. I just want everything to end and be at peace for once. In a world without lies and truthes. I want to be somewhere that doesn't exist. Utopia- whenever someone finds that place tell me, so I can join ya. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
8:55 pm	J`aime Parler En Français : I Like Speaking In French This week was awesome and so stressful at the same time. I went to Québec City this weekend. So stressful. I had to go to the hospital on Saturday morning which wasn`t fun at all because they didn`t speak English. No translator for me. LOL I attempted to answer the questions in french but it didn`t work out. Friday night was so awesome. I saw Billy Talent for 20 bucks. Put it this way I spent more on their CD then the tickets for the concert. Saturday night I saw the Trios Accord. They have this funny song Sasketwan. Its about this guy that loses his girl friend to a guy from Sasketwan. Who would want to marry a guy from there. Like come on. There is nothing there. That night my friends and I got lost taking the bus. Don`t remmond you do that. It was so stressful, because we couldn`t phone anyone for directions. Sunday I did a lot of things I went to Parilament in Quebec City. It was so cool how everything had a meaning, Je me souviens. Its from remembering the past and trying not to forget it. I slept on the grass on Parilament, it has the best grass for sleeping on. Totally. I should be the one to know that eh.   I think that`s it. my weekend was okay. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
8:00 pm	Bonjour Tout Le Monde: Hi Everyone Well for the past week and a half I have been taking a french course at the College de Saint Anne de la Pocatiere. La Pocatiere is this small city in the middle of Quebec City and Montreal, closer to Quebec. It is really good program I think. But I think the people are better than the army people I used to hang out with, and more intelligent. Wow, their intelligence is really high compared to the military people. No offence to any military people. The only thing wrong with this program is there is more women in this program men. I mean a 1 male for every 5 females. I am not used to it. I am used to more guys. Well I am going to Quebec City in a few days I hope it will be, not knowing anything. I must go right now. Bye I hope everyone has a  good summer (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
11:52 pm	Whatever I am sorry to those people that I have hurt in the past. I am sorry for the people that I keep on hurting. I am sorry for the people that I will hurt in the future. I finally realize that I did it for a reason. To forget the pain but I keep holding on it it. I don't know why.  I just don't think anyone understands. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
11:39 pm	Life Sucks I think I did something terrible. I might have fallen in love with someone that I know I don't have a chance with. I hate it so much. He helped me, I am just too stubborn to tell him, but I think he knows it. At first I thought it was lust, but he seemed to understand. He was one of the people in my life that took the time to try to help and I don't know why. I feel terrible about it. He understood what I went through and the reasons behind it and didn't judge me for it. I miss him so much and don't know what to do. I became attach to him, now I must let him go. Which totally sucks. I hate myself for this. I really do. It was soo stupid. I don't want to numb the pain thou, the first time in a while. I would rather be in pain then forget about him. I am just so sad and don't know what to do. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 18th, 2005
3:20 am	Isn't Life Full Of Surprises A few days ago. Something stranged happened. One of my supervisors at work quit. I was shocked and upset that he had to leave, but was kinda happy for him that he was moving on with his life, or whatever he wanted to do. I actually looked up to him and he was one of the better supervisors there. He made everyone so happy by doing whatever, or just being there. So it was kinda sad to see him go. On a very sad note. I hate the way our country is going. I hate the way our health care system is going. I love the idea of everyone being treated as equals when it comes to dealing with people's lives. I think people don't realize what they are taking for granted living in Canada. Health Care and Education are the most important things to a society, without them they can not substain itself. I think it should be free, everything from hospital beds to medication, text books to university degrees. I personally would not mind paying higher taxes, if it means the same opportunity for everyone.   I believe Canadians take a lot of things for granted. Imagine Canada without universal health care. That would be a terrible place. The hard work that TC Douglas, Pearson and Trudeau did would be lost. These men had ideals and aspirations about a great nation. I just hope Canada does not lose it. I promise these men, the loss of universal health care won't go out without a tremendous fight from me and other like me. To protect the ideals and values of Canadian society! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
11:58 am	Well Today is just like any other day. My shift got cancelled at work but no surprise actually. I don't care very much. This will give me time to prepare for my course I am taking at the end of June. Kinda nervous don't know what to think at all. People can be so wonderful and aweful at the same time. I guess it depends how you are raise and what not. I dunno. I talked to one of my former army buddies and he seems to miss me, which is increditably sweet. I don't know why. Humm I have been out for almost a year and I can't believe people still remember me. It's kinda nice in a way, I hope it was for something good not bad. Well that's all I have to say right now, But I am feeling a bit better then before. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 19th, 2005
7:21 am	Well It's been a while since I last posted Well the last fews weeks were a killer. I couldn't sleep and I still can. I get horrible nightmares which brings up the past. I can't get the feeling out of my body, the extreme shakes take over me. Still feel like I am weak, and I don't care. How long do I have to wait to get over things? Come on. It's been over 2 years. What the hell is going on to make these feelings disappear? I really need them gone to function correctly and I need to make up my mind about life in general. I don't know what I want and I could care fucking less. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 14th, 2005
8:23 pm	Canadians are Really Lucky, Thanks to T.C. Douglas Hummm Just thinking I was just thinking about Canada's Health Care System. Did anybody watch the Simspons this week. Well if you didn't here is what happeded. Homer's drug plan at work got cut off. Homer went to Canada to be free drugs. Humm I never thought how much I take for granted. I was watching this video in my Canadian Sociology class, it was contracting American and Canadian values and ideals. Americans on welfare can't afford shots means they can't go to school, and this poor kid got an ear infection too and he can't get treatment. I felt soo bad. There also was this baby only 8 months old when he got kicked out of the hospital because his parent's insurance ran out. He was only insured to be in the hospital for 181 days and that is in his life time. WOW. The next time I sit in a waiting room I'll think of people who can't even afford a doctor, and they live in so-called first nations. Which country would you rather live in? Somewhere people die because their government doesn't want to help them or people die because their government can't help them? I wouldn't want to live in a country where a government has the means and resources to help people but would rather cause harm to others (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
5:31 pm	Well I was just thinking, more than 150 people died yesterday in Iraq at a place where they were applying for the Iraq forces or police officiers. Why would someone stop progress in their country. I would be greatful that some people would attempt to rebulid their society after soo much pain. I do not pity the people who died, I people pity the people who try to hurt others for no reason. No motive. No many people think about this. I would like whoever reads this to take a minute out of your busy day to think about people just like you and I who struggle through life just to get by. It will remind you about how lucky you are. Current Mood: I don't know why (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 27th, 2005
11:16 pm	Does Anyone Think For Themselves Anymore? I was thinking about missle defence. Sounds like a great idea right. Wrong it's not. Imagine striking a bullet down with another bullet. Impossible, even if it would be. Some people are going to suffer as a result of it. Imagine a missle blowing up right above you.  The result of it would be broken buildings at least. Everyone thinks about Alberta has the have province. But does anyone ask themselves for how long?  Alberta won't be able to substain itself forever. So Canada must think of solutions to solve this problem before it happens. Oil doesn't last forever. One day it will all collapse and then what? Then the province soo proud and true, doesn't have anymore wealth to spread around. Then becomes fucked. Not just the people of Alberta will suffer, the all Canadians will because we will have to find some way to pull them out of a hole they dug themselves for not having a plan B. What makes certain rights more equal then others? If someone has their rights denied, and the Canadian government puts restrictions certain people's rights.  Doesn't that act as a contradictions of Canadian values. I am disappointed greatly of my country for being know as a country of tolerance but it's all a lie. This year I learned about many Canadian faults and I became unproud that Canada would do that.  And felt that I didn't want to be a Canadian citizen no longer. Then I thought that it was all in the past but it's not. It is still occurring, and no one seems to know about it, or actually care. I wish I can do more. One must look at the whole picture. One must think that the good would out weight the bad. I still Love my Country, but I must understand the reasons, and the actions  I must do to prevent further injustices from occuring. Even saving one person from harm would be worth it. I just might live with too much passion. I think I can change the world, and I do still believe that one person can. Because it happened serveral times. I hope I can change it for the better.   Current Mood: peaceful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:05 am	How Twisted is Fate? Has anyone thought if fate really exists? I was thinking one of my friends said what are the odds that I would have met you? In a everyday situations I wouldn't have. He actually made me think about something like that. What are the odds that I would meet someone that doesn't live in Thunder Bay, doesn't attend Lakehead, and has no connection to me whatsoever. It was fate or luck that I met this person. I think that is not the first time it has occurred either.  I met someone in the summer of 2003. I met him by accident, and I was thinking what are the odds that he and I would be at the same place at the same time.  And then I starting thinking, I might not have gone through soo much hell as I did, or I might have gone through it much worse. I was wondering if this is someone's twisted idea of giving me a hint about life. I never thought how the littlest things can change my life. Like what are the odds that I met my roomates? A certain group of people I would probably not associate myself with. And it is kinda  made me think about everything. If somehow I wound up in the same situation as last year. I can dig myself out evenully. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I just want a few people to understand why I feel the way I do. Hummm. Does anyone else feel that somehow you are not in control of your life at all? That some strain of luck is forcing you to choose the answers you pick. I think life is crazy. And I would like to think that I am in control but  I feel like I'm not. Oh on a funny note that has nothing to do with anything. My sister wanted me to punch this guy that was drunk and grinding up against her. If she looked like she wanted me to I would have. No one messes with my family unless they wanna have something bad happen to them, expecially my sister This journal is usually used for me to dictate my feeling that I can't express to people. Sometimes people worry about me, but don't. I promise I won't do anything stupid. I swear. Current Mood: like most of the time (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
3:47 pm	Blah Laterly everything seems soo blah. I kinda stopped caring about everything. But then I started thinking I didn't really care about stuff before.  I finally realized that there is no way that I would get into law school with my crappy marks, even if a get accepted to a major university for an undergraduate degree. I just stopped caring about things in general. I am really mean to people and I don't really mean to be. I just get frustrated with people and just stop talking and caring. Humm... I cared enough about school to complete my essay in Modern Politics. I thought it was okay. I didn't do the greatest job, but didn't do the worst. I kinda just feel like giving up all the time. I'm soo sick of beating my head against a wall and not getting anywhere. Does anyone else knows what I'm talking about? This past week, I just been blah, soo sick of dealing with stuff. I need to deal with some problems that I just don't want to, and never will. I keep on running away from them, it's stupid how I wasted soo much time doing that. I just don't know what to do. I just hate it when people mess with my head. I don't know what I want in life, and I can't make choices. I really don't care anymore Sum 41 - pieces I tried to be perfect but it just wasn't worth it I thought it would be easy but no one believes me I meant all those things I said If you see it's in my soul I would say all the words that I know Just to see if it would show I'm trying to let you know That I'm better off on my own This place is soo empty my thoughts are soo tempting I don't know how it got soo bad Sometimes it's soo crazy No one can save   Current Mood: blah (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 22nd, 2004
4:31 pm	My Crazy Kid Thoughts I just thought of something. I spent half of my university life here in thunder bay underage. A student who couldn't and still can't get into the bars (legally that is) (shhhh don't tell anyone). So stupid. blah Well at least I could vote. YA. I love the democratic process. Oh I have something soo exciting to tell you, Whoever reads this....... last week in my Criminal Law class we had a prosecutor, a defense lawyer, and a judge. It was soo interesting. They picked out every little detail about the secenrio and what was good facts and insignifiant facts. Soo cool. Well that was my exciting news. I was soo PUMPED for that. WOW. It was like sugar high without anything. Well I think this is me writing when I'm in a good mood.   Current Mood: giddy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:17 pm	Lucky 15 Well today I'm writing my lucky 15 journal entry I have no clue where did all the time go. I feel like time is going so fast and I can't do anything about it. Well I guess I can't. It's almost the end of the first segment of second year. Soo excited, but still don't know what I want to do  with everything. Soo i'll be able to drink legally, which I don't think anything would change much. I'm sure that I haven't matured in less than a year. I'm still a crazy kid. Doing crazy little kid things. You know what I mean  And everyone treats me like one. Not to name names...Chris, Tom Well I'm joking, Well I have to write this 15 page essay on capital punishment and I'm still on page 2, it was due two fridays ago, on the 12th I'm soo screwed, well at least the prof said I could hand it in whenever I want, by at least by the exam date and that's on the 8th. Nothing is new, so how are you?     Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)